The Star is reporting that the TTC is set to unveil the reasons behind subway service disruptions in a new series of ads, and the reasons revealed aren't surprising: it's the riders' fault.

The new ads reportedly give five reasons for subway delays, and you won't find overcrowded trains, poor funding, lack of available information, lazy employees, or any other TTC-side errors on the list. Instead, in the midst of what seems to be a continued public relations turf war between the transit company and the citizens that make up its customer base, the line of fault is placed squarely on our side.

No matter how justifiable some of these accusations might be, the stink of blame coming off this campaign is going to cause nothing but trouble for the image of the beleaguered organization.

Reason #1: blocking doors

Well, sure. The gaggles of riders who treat the subway doors like live-action PS3 games need to be dealt with, but this series of ads should prove about as effective as the irritable-sounding subway operators intoning "do not block the doors" over the intercom every time some kid throws himself headlong through the entrance after the chimes have sounded. Clearly, better policing and stronger fines are in order to start slowing down all the Indiana Jones wannabes out there.

Reason #2: holding doors

Here, we seem to have a miscommunication, between the riders who think that the subway is a giant elevator, and the rest of the world. Holding the doors for your friends is not polite, folks. Rather the opposite.

Reason #3: people not "minding the gap"

Does that mean "tripping"? I'd like some clarification on how not minding the gap results in subway delays. Has someone ever actually become wedged in the gap?

Reason #4: litter that catches fire on the tracks

Less than a year after removing all trash cans from the subway platforms, the TTC seems to be blaming its riders for a littering problem.

Reason #5: passenger illness

"Stop getting sick"? They're really going with "stop getting sick"?

Reason #6: you're ugly, too

OK, that one's not on there, but it fits the tone.