15 Ridgewood Road, located on a cul-de-sac in Forest Hill South, is a loud spot in a quiet neighbourhood. Flaunting over 7,000 sq. ft. of floor space, it's spacious, bright, and only slightly reminiscent of a Brampton banquet hall. The house was custom-built in 1992 and, well, it shows. Other things built in 1992: Splash Works at Canada's Wonderland, the CBC building on Front Street, Miley Cyrus.

Like many 20-somethings, the house is currently suffering from a mild identity crisis. The brick exterior complements other classic properties on the street, but inside the house teems with disparate styles--and a whole lot of beige. You'll find spiral staircases with gold and Lucite railings, a kitchen covered wall-to-wall in magical marbled laminate (the fridge disappears!), a washitsu with tatami flooring and an indoor koi pond (do the fish come with the house?) If you're prone to dizziness, try to avoid the endless hall of mirrored closets and the nightmare-inducing mirror tile bathroom.

The deep ravine lot features an in-ground pool, hot tub and a knockoff of Michelangelo's David. It's worth noting that you can see a busy stretch of Bathurst St. from the backyard. The property was listed in early 2013 for over $4 million but has undergone many incremental price drops since then. Interested buyers would be wise to hold out a little while longer before biting--and use the savings to buy a few extra koi, for good measure.

SPECS

• Address: 15 Ridgewood Rd.
• Price: $3,598,888.00
• Sq Ft: 7,000
• Bedrooms: 5
• Storeys: 2
• Bathrooms: 9
• Parking Spaces: 8
• Taxes: $30,485.00

NOTABLE FEATURES

• Ensuite bathroom for every bedroom
• Two sunrooms and a rooftop deck
• Indoor waterfall and watercourse
• Indoor sauna

GOOD FOR

Someone who wants to hold an address in one of the city's most established neighbourhoods (bear in mind this street can only be accessed from Bathurst) and really, really likes gold accents. Go all out and install some Liberace-style gold swan neck faucets in the bathtub.

MOVE ON IF

You own multiple cats. Cats and koi are a tragic combination. Also, give the house a pass if you like the location but find the gilded dĂŠcor truly appalling. $3.5 million is too much to invest in a property that will ultimately end up a gut job. Instead, take a look through Forest Hill for properties that are less expensive and more refined.

ADDITIONAL PHOTOS

Writing by Leslie Bank

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