I appreciate all of your thoughts on my last date with Chicken Wing Mark. I've closed off that chapter, though I do occasionally see him lurking around the gym. No chicken bones in sight, thankfully. 

This past weekend, I had a weird experience. Once again, Toronto proves how dating is not easy. 

Please sit down and grab a drink; it's a good one! 

I matched with "Richard" on Bumble. Richard had an artsy flair; he appeared eccentric, different, and unique. 

Richard and I started talking and decided to plan a date. He also watches The Golden Bachelor, which, to me, is a total green flag. Where did we choose to meet… Drum roll, please — Trinity Bellwoods! Surprise, surprise, who doesn't go on a date there at least once? 

I take the subway and get to the park on a Sunday afternoon. Leaves everywhere, and the fall colours beautiful as always. I figured we'd walk around and grab a coffee on West Queen West.

Richard told me he was here, yet I did not see him. I looked around, phone in hand, scanning the park. I did not see Richard until someone popped up behind me. 

A tap on my shoulder, and I jumped, "Richard?"

"That's me!" he exclaimed. My stomach flipped, and I was in shock. Something seemed different about Richard. I'm not someone who cares about height, but on his profile, he said 6'2"; yet as we stood side-by-side, I was positive he was 5'5".

Richard was decked in a peculiar outfit, a scarf with tassels, clunky buckled boots, a long black trench coat, and my favourite piece — a fur hat with a racoon tail. 

He also looked a decade older than his profile. Either the photos weren't of him, or they weren't recent. For context, he should be 27. But, there I was at the park with Richard. I figured now that I'm here, just talk to him, see what he has to say. 

Richard came with a thermos of hot chocolate and two oatmeal cookies. He made them from scratch. 

It was a nice gesture. I wanted to indulge, but my trust issues came in as I felt somewhat deceived by the photographs. We made small talk, and I relied on a simple topic of The Golden Bachelor, which led to further conversations surrounding dating. 

Richard began to tell me how the biggest red flag in a person is dishonesty. I found this interesting and pried, "Have you ever been dishonest?" Richard thought for a moment but quickly said, "Nope!" 

Hilarious. I knew I wasn't going crazy, so I continued, "How do you feel about someone lying on their dating profile?" 

"That depends," Richard began to say, "It depends what you consider a lie." 

We continued back and forth, but Richard did not admit to his images or age being false. 

It gets WORSE...

I told Richard I had to get going as the breeze became cooler. He agreed. He had a performance art piece to get working on. 

Richard and I hopped on the subway, which is where things took an even bigger turn. We both got off at the same stop, and there was a breeze as we began to leave the station. Richard felt his hat leaving his head. As he grabbed on to keep hold of it, his face turned into a scowl. 

"My tail!" he shouted, "It's missing, what the f**k!" Richard turned around so I could see the damage. His fur hat was tail-less! Someone must have snipped it off on the subway. How we didn't notice, I have no clue! It was, after all, quite busy. 

I snickered, and Richard became furious, "You think it's funny, don't you?" 

I pulled myself together, "No, it's just kind of ridiculous. Who on Earth is snipping your hat's tail?" 

"That's what I'm trying to understand!!" he cried. 

Richard paced around in circles, his boots clipping and clopping and his long black trench coat parachuting in the air as he made his way around. The station pigeons flew away as Richard stomped about, huffing and puffing like an angry warlock. 

I began to back away. "I'm sure you will solve this mystery, but I need to go." 

Richard huffed. "So long!" he yelled as I sped up and left the station. I turned back and saw him still pacing. 

The Next Day 

I received a very bizarre message from Richard on Bumble.

"Hey! You are really nice and pretty, but I don't know, did we just not vibe? I felt hurt when you just left me in the station… But I did want to ask, can I get some feedback?" 

I was floored. What feedback would you give Richard? 

Final Thoughts 

I am at a loss for words, truly. I don't know what to say. But as always, it was an experience, a story. If you had to choose between chicken wing Mark or raccoon tail Richard, who would you pick? 

Anyway, stay tuned for more Toronto Dating Chronicles!