dating in toronto

Toronto Dating Chronicles: blind date leads to confusing ending

Happy Thursday! I had a date that will give you some food for thought, something to decipher, and analyze. 

I've been trying to avoid the apps, to live life more organically, in an old-fashioned way. To follow some of last week's tips from the comment section, I avoided going on my phone in public and being more friendly in spaces such as a coffee shops. 

I also did something very old-school. I went on my first blind date. Yes, that's right, BLIND. No picture, simply a name and good word from a trusted family member. You hardly see that these days. 

His name was "Lance," the son of my aunt's close friend, and he was described as "A good guy, intelligent, kind, and hardworking." We spoke on the phone once and had a great conversation. 

We made plans for later that week. Lance suggested Earls. While I imagined this spot for the finance folks on business lunches, I figured it would be an interesting change. 

Saturday Evening 

It was a rainy Saturday, and my mind wanted to stay home, but I knew it was too late to cancel. I made my way through St. Andrew station. There was a charm in the air, a festive holiday feel with lights glimmering. "Hey, I'm here! I grabbed us a table," texted Lance. 

This was all a little nerve-racking. I felt like I was on a dating show. Who would Lance be? How will I know it's him? Simply a name, number, and a decent conversation. 

I pulled open a heavy door, entering the upscale restaurant. It was a lovely atmosphere, high ceilings, wooden tables, and softly illuminated lighting.

I told the host my date's name and was led the way. I walked, manoeuvring past people, cutlery clinking, and chattering in the background. Who would I be brought to?  

Finally, I arrived at a table for two, and there he was, flashing a charming smile. "So, you must be Lance," I said with a laugh. "You got it, it's nice to meet you." He stood up from his chair and hugged me. 

We then sat down and made small talk while sifting through the menu. "You look very nice," Lance said. He was quite friendly and complimentary. I opted for a glass of white wine, while we talked about our similar distaste for modern dating, sick of all the apps.

Lance ordered the chicken lettuce wraps for us to share which were delicious, and kept the drinks flowing. We laughed and chatted about all sorts of things. Lance shared funny stories from his childhood, his love of cooking, and passion for travel. It seemed we had a lot in common.

"Another drink?" he offered; I hesitated, but figured why not, and had my empty glass of wine refilled. Lance seemed engaged, and I assumed he was having a good time, or so I thought. 

"You know," paused Lance, "I was worried about this blind date thing, but I'm happy I came." I smiled, "Me too." 

As our date wound down, I let Lance have the last lettuce wrap, and we finished our drinks. He quickly offered to pay the bill. I tried to suggest splitting, but he insisted on paying for everything.

As we walked out of the restaurant, Lance ran ahead to hold the doors open, and as I was about to hop back on the subway, he insisted on calling me an Uber. 

We said our goodbyes as the Uber rolled in, "Let's do something again soon?" asked Lance. I told him I’d love to, and Lance grinned, while gently shutting the door. 

The next day, I had yet to hear from Lance. I decided to send a thank you text saying I had a great time. But his silence turned to hours, and then hours turned into days. I asked my aunt if she knew anything, but she knew nothing more than I did. I am confident to say I have been ghosted.

Now, I'll admit, sometimes you'll have a really awful date and both people just never speak again. But this one confused me. I thought we both had a mutually good time and genuine connection. 

It's now been almost a week and still nothing from Lance. I struggle to understand what went wrong. It's an odd situation, but nothing more I can do. I'm wondering, has this ever happened to you?

A successful date and then radio silence? On the contrary, have you ever ghosted someone? I won't judge. Hopefully, I'll have an update and some answers by next week. 

In the meantime, enjoy December, the holiday parties and the lights. Stay warm, and check back next week for more Toronto Dating Chronicles.

Lead photo by

Fareen Karim


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