Ah, New Year's resolutions — those special little lies we tell ourselves every year. Maybe the hustle and bustle of Toronto living has made your heart two sizes too small like the Grinch, and you're ready to be a better citizen.

Here are some Toronto New Year's resolutions we should all aspire to in 2024.

1. I will not hog the mic at karaoke.

2. I will not do a "Toronto mans" accent on TikTok.

3. I will visit my friends who moved an hour away on transit (4.6km).

4. I will not stand in line for 3 hours for whatever the "thing" is this time.

5. I will not get my hopes up about the Leafs.

6. I will leave an extra 30 minutes early in case of TTC delays every time.

7. I will be polite to the driver no matter how late the bus is.

8. I will tap my Presto card even when I'm pretty sure there won't be fare inspectors.

9. I will go to all of my friends' shows, parties, stand-up sets, bar trivia nights, short film screenings, gallery openings, improv class graduation ceremonies, etc.

10. I will watch at least one Toronto-based movie and silently cheer every time I see a place I recognize.

11. I will not groan about condos while literally living in a condo.

12. I will not let Metrolinx keep treating me this way.

13. I will not aggressively correct out-of-towners on their pronunciation of Toronto, Eglinton, Spadina, Roncesvalles, Davenport, Strachan, Esplanade, etc.

14. I will learn to spell Christie Pits with only one T.

15. I will show my backyard raccoons that I'm the boss, not the other way around.

16. I will not get too drunk and ruin Nuit Blanche.

17. I will not get too drunk and ruin Pride.

18. I will not get too drunk and ruin the ferry ride home from the Island.

19. I will have water every time I go out, even if it's $7 for some reason.

20. I will not under any circumstances — no matter how badly I need to go — attempt to use the washroom at the Queen and Spadina McDonald's.