Inside Out: Fun in Girls Shorts

My sister joined me for this screening of shorts, and the fifth film (of six) put her off the whole festival. And she dropped $10.50 on a ticket. Fortunately the final film was sweet enough to compensate. Sort of.

Love is Blind - a heartbroken goth girl Betty (her girlfriend is a meanie) helps a little old lady, Lucy, into a liquor store, and the little old lady whips out a gun. Lucy robs the store, hijacks a car, Betty in tow, and yet still has time to discuss Betty's romantic dilemma and to dish out some words of wisdom. The film is deliberately silly and over-acted, and it's not a pretty video, but still enjoyable.

Memoirs of an Evil Stepmother - a very well produced video, stars the excellent Jane Lynch (who you'll recognize from TV) as the titular ES, who's telling her side of the story - soap star goes nuts after divorce, when she's finally ready to return to the small screen, her young, hot daughter steals the spotlight. So she hires Jacob Vargas to eliminate the problem. Of course, he can't resist the pretty young thing. Superb acting, clever script, great production value. What is this doing in Inside Out? Well, I don't want to spoil the surprise ending. Moral of the story - don't move to L.A, and if you do - trust no one.

Attack of the Bride Monster - another very well produced video which asks the question "Is gay marriage a right or a curse?" A tool of the Christian right to manipulate the lifestyles of the non-hetero, or a chance to have the cake, the dress, the shoes, and for the happy to couple to prove, once and for all, that they love each other more than anything, ever? A sweet young lesbian stumbles into a bar, all teary-eyed because her girlfriend won't commit - Betty dishes out some wisdom from her hard-earned experience. In flashback - Betty gets all starry-eyed, envisioning herself as a bride. Stella, her partner for 25 years, gets freaked by Betty's zeal. Funny, but neither Betty nor Stella are really likeable enough to really engage the audience.

Day One: a period piece - a successful magazine designer has a hot date to look forward to, but guess what happens. The bloating, the huge panties (a great visual gag), the cramps, the depressing fantasies of blind dates gone awry - everyone in the audience cringed along with the poor protagonist as she stumbled through her terribly unsexy day. In spite of mediocre acting and indifferent camera work, enjoyable for the inside-jokiness of it all.

Harigata: The Alien Dildo that Turned Women into Sex-hungry Lesbos - I thought this would be hilarious. Chopped found footage of B-movies and 60s lesbian porn? No dialogue, only title cards? The potential is astounding. Sadly, the opening and ending sequences were the only edited sequences - the rest could have been called "Attack of the Fifty-foot Vagina". I have never seen so much vagina in my life. And on the big screen? I could pass a gynecological exam. It just didn't stop. I've never been so uncomfortable in my life. Wretched - made worse, I think, by completely not living up to the promise or the premise.

His Name is Cosmo - I wish I had a link for this. Best short of the night, by far. Adorable lesbian couple decides to get a toy, a vibrator/dildo, called Cosmo. One half of the couple starts to get a little over-enthusiastic for the plastic, and the other starts to feel a little over-looked. Cutest actors ever, with the most genuine performances - the audience is with them all the way. When finally forced to choose between Cosmo and her lover, the teary eyed girls goes to throw the vibrator into the river. As the dildo flew through the air in slo-mo, half the audience cried "Nooooooooo!" The film also includes my favourite line of dialogue "The only thing that comes with a penis is trouble." Choice.