Today I met Alice Cooper and recieved a massive facial wound...surprisingly one wasn't the result of the other.

The 2006 Fan Expo happening September 1-3 at the Metro Toronto Convention Center is a blast and a half. I admit to being a closeted nerd but even I'm a virgin to these kinds of gatherings but I had so much fun walking around and chatting people up regardless. The Expo is composed of Anime, Gaming, Comic, Sci-Fi and Horror sections all snuggled under one roof and I decided to take the plunge head first documenting my trials, tribulations and celebrity blunders.

REPORT - DAY ONE
These conventions are the kinds of places that people watching and the digital camera were invented for. But tragedy struck. I opened my big mouth and said that I liked Halloween more than Friday the 13th and then this baby bit me.

..and it hurt like hell...

Melodie Fralick and Yvonne Macinnis from Complections Make Up School could barely believe their eyes. They were heading up the "Choose Your Own Gore" make-up booth and thought highly of the baby's handy work and bite style.

I tried to seek medical attention in Sick Bay but Dr. Beverly Crusher had no time for this lowly ensign..

Then I thought I caught the damn baby but turns out it was Vern Troyer a.k.a Mini Me and he wasn't too pleased when I tried to bite him back.

After escaping the clutches of Troyer's security guards I decided to try and buy myself some protection but former WWF Wrestler turned B-movie actor Rowdy Roddy Piper ended up fainting at the sight of blood...

..and this guy was on his break buying stuffed animals for the dark side.

I started feeling a little weird what with the frothing at the mouth and dark thoughts so I tried to do some research on what to do about it but was overwhelmed...

...finding no good leads this worldly fellow had some advice and pointed me towards...

THIS!!

..But because I'm a man and instructions are confusing, I went to Linda Blair from the Exorcist to ask for a shortcut but all she could talk about was animal rights and her new book about becoming Vegan which wasn't helping the situation at all.

Even Micheal Berryman from the original The Hills Have Eyes and Alice Cooper himself just laughed at my dripping flesh wound..

Is this it....will I be terminated...

Will I turn out to be a living dead girl...

Or... a dead dead girl?
...I mean boy... I mean ***BAAARRRRRFFF***

Find out on DAY 2 of my FanExpo coverage...If I'm still around...HELP...