I know I haven't been in school for a while and I do remember student housing being pretty terrible, but I don't think it was ever this bad.

The listing (now deleted, as always) reads "Looking for students who want to share this one bedroom apartment. 2 beds available. Semi furnished. Open balcony."

The two beds the landlord is speaking of are two single beds in a tiny room (or maybe it's the living room).   

Sure, dorms can suck, especially if you have a terrible roommate. I lived in Saugeen-Maitland Hall at Western the year it got called out in Playboy Magazine and my roommate was a horrible human.

But, I would take the zoo, my passive aggressive roommate, co-ed showers and bleak cafeteria food over this hovel any day.

At least with a dorm room, you're usually only a 10 minute walk from your 8 a.m. class, and showing up in your PJs is much easier to do if you don't have to be judged by an entire TTC car for your life choices.  

But, if you're trying to save money by living "off-campus," this place seems like one of the more unfortunate places to do that, mostly because it's only about $100 cheaper than a dorm.  

Also there's a lot you can tell about your potential roomies by the state of the house, and this doesn't paint a flattering picture.

For example, the kitchen looks like a bomb went off even as they're trying to sell it to new people. This means you will never ever have a clean pot, pan, spoon or bowl when you need one. And, that means you'll be eating cereal out of a coffee mug or that one weird Pyrex dish with a ladle... fun!  

There's also a weird poem on the door to the bathroom about possibly using soap, which means one of your housemates is a big fan of leaving passive aggressive notes.

And, who doesn't love passive aggressive notes about the cleaning schedule? Yes, I get it Shelby, it's my turn to clean the bathroom. You've already sent me three texts today and I said I'd get to it when I get home. 

But, when you opt not to live in a dorm and you're paying rent, you ideally want a little privacy or at least a place you can study without trekking it to the library. Yet still, this place doesn’t have either of those things.

The living room has two people living in it and your room has another human in it. There isn't a single desk in this entire apartment, so the only place you might be able to work is the kitchen table. But there's so much stuff on it that I don’t even know where you'd put a laptop.

Also, student life means your sleeping schedule is beyond messed up. Sometimes you're up to 4 am and you really really really want a grilled cheese, but you can't have that because Dan is a light sleeper and he's on the mattress next to the kitchen. God! Dan ruins everything.  

Specs

• Address: 1748 Victoria Park Avenue
• Type: A single bed
• Rent: $420/ month
• Furnished? Semi *(it's unclear what is included)
• Utilities: No info but unlikely
• Air conditioning? Doubtful
• Bedrooms: 1
• Bathrooms: 1
• Parking: No
• Laundry? Who knows?
• Outdoor space? There's a balcony! In the summer you can pull your mattress out there so you don’t have to listen to your roomie's snoring.
• Pet friendly? No

Good For

Getting that dorm room experience without the joys of a meal plan, dorm parties or a desk.  

Move On If

You need that midnight grilled cheese.