How important is a "dream wedding" to you?

As Canadians struggle with housing and cost-of-living crises, their desire for a big wedding has begun to wane. Many young people can either afford to pursue their dream of homeownership or spend it on a wedding — if they're lucky enough to have the funds to make a choice.

We spoke to Canadians who put marriage plans on hold to prioritize a mortgage.

Why did they do it? How did they do it? What was the process like? Here's what we found out.

"This opportunity won't pop up again any time soon"

Katrina and her partner enjoy going to open houses for fun.

The 29-year-old from B.C. and her partner loved daydreaming about owning a home until one day, they stumbled upon an open house for a townhome in Surrey, which made them want to turn their dream into reality.

"We weren't walking into the showroom with the intention to buy, but the price was right… we were like, we can’t find the size of home for this price moving forward," the public service worker told me over the phone.

Katrina and her partner bought their first home in November 2023 after being together for six years. She says she's at an age where her parents are increasingly asking when they plan to get married.

"In my opinion, I can get married anytime versus when that house popped up, it was kind of like, 'oh, this opportunity is not going to pop up again any time soon,'" she explained.

She isn't the only millennial with this mindset.

According to a recent Houseful survey, most young first-time homebuyers in Canada are choosing doorbells over wedding bells.

The online Canadian real estate platform owned by RBC found that 78 per cent of single and unmarried first-time homebuyers under 30 are prioritizing saving for a mortgage over having a big, lavish wedding.

"Younger adults are increasingly conscious of ong'oing housing affordability challenges, which motivates them to secure a financially stable future by seizing saving opportunities earlier," said Karen Starns, CEO of Houseful.

"After getting a foothold in the market, they can gain the flexibility to pursue other life milestones that are important to them."

This is exactly why B.C. resident Sarah (this is a pseudonym as she has asked to remain anonymous) and her partner decided to take the plunge and buy a two-bedroom, two-bathroom unit in a low-rise condo.

The 26-year-old said she and her partner are prioritizing financial security.

"Weddings cost a lot of money," the IT worker told me over the phone. "I've brought up wanting kids around the age of 30… that's also a really big expense. He's brought up how he wants to be able to provide the same way for kids as his parents were for him. We don't even have a car yet either, so there are certain milestones we'd want to reach first."

Thirty-one-year-old Maryna from Vancouver bought a home last July after two years with her partner.

She told us in the survey that both marriage and buying a home "demonstrate a huge intention for long-term commitment."

"We chose to prioritize using our savings into an asset that we could invest in, rather than spending it all on one day and delaying our ability to re-save in the future, once married," she explained.

Doorbells vs. wedding bells

According to a MoneySense report, the average wedding cost in Canada in 2023 was between $22,000 and $30,000.

The Canadian Real Estate Association's latest stats from December 2024 show the average national home price at $676,640. However, that average skyrockets depending on the province and city.

For example, the average home price in Ontario in December was $834,123, increasing to over $1 million if you're house hunting in the Greater Toronto Area. A 10 per cent down payment would be between $80,000 and $100,000.

The average price of a home in B.C. in December was $1,017,053, and the average in Greater Vancouver was over $1.1 million.

With staggering housing costs expected to increase this year, some have opted to reduce the possible $30,000 nuptial costs on a home instead of a wedding party.

"We had the opportunity to get into the market, and we've been told to get in as soon as it made sense," said Sarah.

She says if they were to have a wedding, they'd have to budget around $40,000 to $50,000 because she and her partner have big families.

They're undecided if they want to elope or have a reception; however, if it were to include traditional wedding festivities, the IT worker says they would probably invite around 200 people.

"We're very family-oriented, so it's either everyone goes, or no one goes," she explained. "The money's there, but we may want to put it towards our principal or maybe get a car."

Katrina and her partner plan to get married in their early thirties. She says she knows there's an option to have a wedding on a budget, but she personally wants a big celebration, so she's prepared to take a couple of years to save up for it.

The public service worker says her mom was apprehensive about them buying a home together before getting married until she walked through the showroom.

"My mom was like, you better have a plan after this, but they also understood the current housing crisis situation and that this was a hard deal to find anywhere," explained Katrina.

"Gifts will not cover the cost of the wedding, let alone a down payment afterward," a 30-year-old man from BC who asked to remain anonymous said in our survey.

Parental support

According to a CIBC report from last year, on average, Canadian parents are giving their kids $115,000 to help with a down payment, up 73 per cent from 2019.

A 2023 report from the national real estate marketplace Zolo found that 47 per cent of Canadians receive money from family or an inheritance "to boost" their down payment. An additional 24 per cent use their partner's family's money for a down payment.

Katrina and the 26-year-old BC resident acknowledge that buying a home in this economy requires extensive preparation and help.

Sarah and her partner bought their condo for $772,000 in 2023. She said they had both tried to purchase a place independently because they had only been in a relationship for a couple of years and were hesitant about owning a home together before marriage.

However, they realized they could only afford a smaller unit with their single incomes.

"We were also thinking if, in the future, we were to start a family, it wouldn't make sense to kind of get a one-bedroom or a studio, which is what we could afford separately," she explained. "If we were to try to sell what we had to get something bigger, it would be going through another difficult process all over again."

The 26-year-old says she began saving for a home in her early twenties. At that time, she and her partner lived with their families, which allowed them to set aside half of their income.

She had saved $100,000 and received $70,000 from life insurance after her dad died. Her partner's family matched that, contributing around $70,000, while her partner also chipped in $100,000 of his savings.

Katrina and her partner bought their townhome for $899,000. They had been saving for years.

Similar to Sarah, Katrina and her partner lived with their families instead of renting, which allowed them to save a lot of their income. The public service worker says she was also privileged to have no student debt.

She had saved up over $50,000, while her partner had around $40,000. Their parents also contributed $160,000 altogether, which Katrina says is money they had been saving for years with the expectation that their children would need it to buy property one day.

"I think it's very common nowadays that people our age are all getting help from parents… it's very rare that you just do it on your own," she said.

On top of the sale price of a home, there are also several additional costs. Katrina and Sarah were subject to tens of thousands of dollars in lawyer fees and a transfer tax.

"I think it's pretty insane how much everything costs," said the 26-year-old. She recalls her partner's parents buying their first home for just under $300,000. "I don't really know how other people are going to do it without parental support."

Most people said they received help from their parents in the survey.

Life after the down payment

After spending most of her savings on their townhome, Katrina says it's taking them some time to furnish it.

"We had an empty house for the first few months," she recalled. "We had no money left over for cabinets. I spent the last of my money on a dining table and chairs. So, that was a major cost that we're only able to really pay now because we saved the money again."

She says their finances are also tighter, and they must be more conscious of their expenses.

"We're eating out less, so I’ve learned how to cook a lot more. I’m also getting into hobbies that are even cheaper than before, like running, because you don't need equipment for that," said Katrina.

Sarah says they're confident in their decision to get a mortgage before marriage.

"I think it's nice to have the financial security of having a place that's a bit more permanent [instead of] trying to figure it out after just spending 60 to 70,000 on a wedding," she explained.

For those who are also prioritizing being homeowners before marriage but are weary about possibly separating from their partner in the future, the 26-year-old has some solid advice.

"I think you should have a game plan in writing about what you'd do if you were to separate because that's definitely something they'll ask when you’re getting your mortgage," she explained.

Financially, Katrina advises prospective homebuyers to be conscious of lifestyle creep.

"Once you get your first big job, you want to spend money," she said. "If you don't need it, just save the money, put it away and forget about it. If you can put it in a high-interest savings account, that always helps."

She also recommends people live at home if they're comfortable with it or if their situation allows it.

"In my opinion, it's not as socially frowned upon as it used to be, and it's really the fastest way to save money."